we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
