Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
