Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
