but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
