I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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