i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
