But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
