He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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