My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i came on her dog
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
