in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
