I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
