dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
