Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
