yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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