so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Farmville is her only friend.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
