i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
