So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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