Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
