you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
