If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
