he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
