I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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