My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
