he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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