We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
