Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
this boner is exhausting
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
