Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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