I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
