I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
