Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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