After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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