Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
