She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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