It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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