its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Randomize
