so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
