If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
