As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
