Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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