Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
