found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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