What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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