YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
