He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
