I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
