wat bout pragnant strippers??
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
