and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
