There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
