I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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