Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
