if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
