Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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