i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
