so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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