Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Who died my cat blue again?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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