I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
