Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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