dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm passing your future prison.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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