STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
