then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
